Positioning Myself

Identities are complex.
Even if we try to isolate a certain part of our identities, like the brown stitch in the center, the blue still surrounds it and expands out into a broader, interconnected pattern.
No single thread or stitch exists in isolation. Oppressive systems are interconnected, too-- ableism reinforcing racism, racism reinforcing patriarchy, patriarchy reinforcing classism, etc.

CONFRONTING NORMATIVITY

This thesis focuses on normativity. Normativity concerns what people "should" do, believe, or value. Generally, it is a force that privileges white, upper-middle class, heterocisgender, neurotypical, and non-disabled standards. 

The boxes in this square represent series of norms and expectations in schools.

DECONSTRUCTING NORMATIVITY

I argue that there is a need to deconstruct normativity-- to question it, pick it apart, expose the gaps, and analyze it from every angle. 

SEVERING RELATIONSHIPS

Settler colonialism and capitalism are foundational for understanding why our education system works the way it does.
The grey stitches are separated, categorized, and ranked by the red stitches. 

INCLUSIVE EDUCATION: ARE WE THERE YET?

Inclusive education is at the center.
The blue lines on the sides are collectively fighting for access to inclusion.
Is the goal to make room inside of the box? To get the blue lines to the center? Or can we reshape the frame entirely?

CONCEPTUAL LENS

This square represents the conceptual framework for this study. It ties together at least four frameworks-- anti-ableism, InCrit and DisCrit, anti-racism, and neuroqueering. The brown yarn is what blends the frameworks and what separates them. This allows them to interact while maintaining the distinctness of their ideas. Together, they help me identify instances of normativity in my data set. 

wHAT AM I DOING?

This square represents the freedom I feel when engaging in critical autoethnography. I am working "outside the box" (the square in the center), creating something uniquely me (orange design). However, I realize I am inside of another, bigger, institutional box (outside square). 

This square can also be applied to inclusive educators. Educators can think outside the box on an individual level, but still have to reconcile with colonial school systems that categorize and rank students. 

DATA MANAGEMENT

In this study, I gathered data from my Bachelor's in Elementary and Special Education (top left) and my Master's in Inclusive Education (top right). Types of data include written academic papers (orange) and multimedia assignments (blue, yellow, pink braid). As represented by the number of strands, the bachelor's program had more written academic papers and fewer multimodal assignments; the master's program had fewer written academic papers and more multimodal assignments. In data analysis, first they are sorted by date and type of data, then I will analyze them and generate themes (represented by the braid). 

This square represents the cyclical, nonlinear nature of the data analysis process. Although I describe my steps sequentially, it is a spiral of a process. 

The white yarn reflects the overwhelmingly white, nondisabled narratives I internalized and perpetuated in teacher education. I crochet white yarn over black and brown yarn to highlight the coordinated efforts by neoliberal institutions to cover up histories and lived experiences of Black, Brown, and marginalized communities. In this square, I aim to make these acts of exclusion apparent and undeniable. 

In teacher education, complex concepts are oversimplified and served to us an absolute truth. 

In this square, the red strainer is a machine that strips away context and complexity. It takes words, colors, stories, realities, histories, languages, ideas, and images, then produces an oversimplified, shiny, marketable solution.  

Even though I was critiquing compliance in education, the solutions I offered were still rooted in compliance. Yes, I embraced nondominant teaching practices, but the square did not change, it just rotated. I kept compliance as a baseline and prerequisite for learning.

The apple represents the teacher who takes it upon themself to fix the school system by being the "best teacher ever". The apple believes that their passion and hard work will save these kids.

Meanwhile, the red background of systemic violence can refuse responsibility and continue functioning as intended.

The blue X represents surpassing the niceties around "good intentions" and other excuses for exclusion, and calls it what it is--ableism. Racism. Classism. In my early teacher education, I thought that naming these -isms was a violent act. However, it is the avoidance and implicit perpetuation of them that is the violent act. Naming them is an act of clarity.

This crochet pattern emphasizes the need for an interdependent inclusive education. My coursework reflects a shift from an independent, individualized education to an anti-capitalist, and collectivist framework 

Tying this back to earlier squares, this represents normativity (orange boxes) and the examination of normativity through critical frameworks, using colors that represent critical perspectives of Incrit, Discrit, anti-racism, anti-ableism, and neuroqueer theory. This reflects the process of this study.

A STITCH AMONGST STITCHEs

This square represents my story (the pink stitch) as the site of analysis for this particular study. Other people are represented in the yellow, white, blue, and green stitches. Although the focus is on my experiences, my experiences are also not more or less important than others, they are all important as part of the collective tapestry. Each of us brings our own unique sets of strengths and stretches.

Looking forward while looking back, the journey is ongoing. This square shows intricate movement, pattern, design, and colors surrounding a wheel. The wheel keeps turning in every direction, a cyclical reminder of the cyclical nature of knowledge and research.